In these difficult and uncertain times for everyone, we’re attempting to ask people’s opinions on some of the lighter side of things regarding Newcastle United.
First up, a the worst haircuts in Premier League history at Newcastle United (please vote for your worst barnet in the comments section below!).
Here’s our XI:
GK – Pavel Srnicek
God rest his soul. Our much missed Czech legend sadly passed away, and certainly in his latter years had a rugged coolness to him. However when he first signed from Banik Ostrava back in 1991, his barnet was frankly horrendous, like something had crawled up his back and pushed it all forward.
DEF – Warren Barton
Centre parting. The original. Let’s be honest, most of us reading this, myself included had similar hairstyles. Barton’s look like he had done his parting with a protractor. His inclusion is out of jealousy for his perfection. Narrowly saw off Marc Hottiger as there are already enough mullets coming up.
DEF – Marcelino
I also donned an alice band whilst playing football many moons ago, but I tried to look like Claudio Canigga and Francesco Totti, not this muppet. Look at him. Maybe gets some leeway because this photo may have been taken while he was out injured for 7 years with a broken finger and couldn’t do his hair properly.
DEF – Brian Kilcline
“Killer” to his friends. A man who was so hard he could chew glass and spit it out as nails. Dreadful hair though. A proper mullet. Would probably have benefited from someone telling him how daft he looked, but I doubt anyone was brave enough.
DEF – DeAndre Yedlin
The American speedsters hair styles are not unlike his performances. Decent and sensible one week, a travesty the next. I’m actually a fan of his recent afro, but his platted effort is an assault on the senses.
DEF – Barry Vension
The thinking man’s mullet. So bad it was glorious. Business at the front and party round the back. Pat Sharp’s inspiration and rarely beaten. A true “hair metal” icon.
MID – Clarence Acuna
Our combative Chilean was a tough little cookie, and like Marcelino, attempted the alice band look with little success. Looked like Mauricio Pochettino’s less handsome older brother after coming out of a wind tunnel….chewing a wasp.
MID – Remi Cabella
Now to be honest, if this was an all time Newcastle bad hair XI, Chris Waddle would be not only included, but also captain and star man, but as it’s Premier League era only, Cabella gets the nod. He looks like one of this troll things the girls in my school class had on the end of their pencils.
FWD – Daniele Cordone
Every time I watched him play I asked myself two questions….how and why? What was he even trying to achieve. Answers please as I’m willing to learn.
FWD – Andy Carroll
Another who developed a rugged coolness with age and now looks quite distinguished. However, these plats when he first burst onto the scene……..what on earth was he thinking? A monstrosity of a hair style.
FWD – Louis Saha
Highlights can be a fine thing when used in moderation. For example Christian Atsu manages to rock this style quite well. Not Louis. Thankfully sense came with maturity.
Manager – Steve McClaren
As someone who is thinning on top and was horrified when I first noticed it, I sympathise with the denial of the sands of time and trying to get the last out of one’s hair, but my word man, that island on your crown should have disappeared on a windy day.
Don’t forget to cast your vote below!
(Fancy writing for us? Send any articles/ideas over to us at NUFCblogsubmissions@gmail.com & we’ll get back to you!)
This post written by Jamie Elliott originally appeared on NUFC blog – Newcastle United blog – NUFC Fixtures, News and Forum.. Read the full post here.